It is one of those fairytale stories, you know the one where the Prince meets his Princess and they live happily ever after. I suppose my life mimics that in some way, shape or form. I met my college sweetheart sophomore year of college and now we are planning our wedding together – how exciting! It has been nothing but years full of love and happiness with my bestfriend. Although, as I have gotten older I have learned that just because I have the man of dreams doesn’t mean I should forget my own dreams too. We can get so caught up in our relationship that we forget about our own vision of success.
As a young girl I envisioned myself reaching so many exciting goals and for the most part, I have done pretty well. But as you enter adulthood your dreams suddenly change, your focus shifts and you are now left to do it all on your own. I can remember attending high school like it was yesterday and all the amazing memories associated with those years. I know that I am not the only one here but have you ever had one of your parents say, “Oh I wish I was still in high school again, it beats getting up every morning for work every day?” or something along those lines… I can remember responding every single time with the word, “No way, I can’t wait to finish high school the freedom will be so cool.” I really use to take this statement for granted – most people would at that age too. But coincidently, now that I am out of school I can understand why my parents stated these things because the grind is an exciting yet challenging thing to do!
I know the older I get you become consciously aware of all the little things you didn’t quite pay attention to as a kid – especially when it comes to spending your own money. I have noticed that I can almost accurately recite the price of each item on our grocery list which is quite a shock because I use to be the one bugging my mother for an extra treat at the end of our shopping trips. I guess what I am trying to say is adulthood is real when you suddenly become responsible for every decision you make and everything you do to shape your future – money included.
Which brings me to my next point, life as a “responsible” University student. It’s often a time of learning and taking the initiative to figure out how to pave your way through school in hope of obtaining a degree. College is where you meet great people, possibly a spouse and you start structuring your ideal future. As a young adult, you try to make the best decision regarding what kind of major you would like to study as well as what will earn you a decent salary cheque at the end of the day. I know that is how I made my decision, especially when it came time to find a job.
While you’re in the process of deciding your career, I have to be quite honest with you and say that you’re decision should never be centered around a relationship. In fact, before deciding your ideal path I am almost certain that your spouse was not even in the picture and if he/she was one would hope they have been supportive of your decision thus far. The point is, never make an emotional decision to please your partner because they’re unhappy that you won’t be in the same city or even room with them. This is where sacrifice becomes a MAJOR part while transitioning into an adult. I was so blessed to be able to attend the same University with my bestfriend and honestly made some decisions that were ultimately in my best interest career-wise. Fortunately enough it has allowed me to travel with my better half while he plays professional basketball but it has also allowed me to realize that I want more for myself too.
I cannot stress this point enough ladies. You should ALWAYS have something going for you – even if that means making a drastic change in a location away from the people you love. Yes, I know it sounds way harder than it actually is but trust me taking chances in life is ultimately one of the best things you can do. As my mother would always say, “If it’s meant to be, it will always find a way to work itself out.” And for the longest, I use to get so frustrated with her because I almost always disagreed but then as I got older I learned that you must always put yourself first. Sorry if that sounds a bit selfish, but in all honesty, it is totally okay to be a little bit selfish sometimes. I say this because over time as I have learned from my past relationships you should never burn yourself out worrying about trying to make somebody else happy. You are just as important and your dreams too.
Whether you are married, engaged or even just dating it should NEVER be a competition. And this is where you need to be honest with yourself and relationship. Is he/she holding you back from reaching your dreams? It is a scary thought for me because I have been so blessed to have met such an amazing guy but seriously ask yourself that question – I have even asked myself that question while being in an almost perfect relationship. Whether you’re living a single life or in a relationship, it is so important to create good habits for yourself. So here are 7 tips to help you out:
- Create a vision board.
- Let your talents flourish.
- Self-confidence is essential. Believe in your abilities.
- Sacrifice. If that means separating for a brief moment or compromise with your partner.
- Consistent work ethic. Stick to the plan and be sure to prioritize.
- Push yourself. Never settle for less than 110%.
- Celebrate your success. Pamper yourself. It is totally okay to be independent!
In the midst of your hard work and your partner hard work you never want to become a puppet or shadow. This is where your partner should support your vision and visa versa. Focus on your dreams because, at the end of the day, you should want to be known for what you do too. Trust me, as hard as it may be to admit we have all fallen victim to what I am about to share with you. At some point, we have fallen head over heels for a person and without really realizing we change our priorities ever so slightly – I have fallen victim to this without a doubt. You start slowly drifting away from friends because it’s so nice to have a Netflix and chill night with your partner. You suddenly prioritize your relationship over what really matters, things like school work etc – the list goes on. I know as a young teenage girl, some of the decisions I made were quite shocking but it makes you grow as a person. Now that I can finally sit back and assess some of the decisions I made, it really makes me want to do better.
In conclusion, never ever forget you, especially as you get older. Be bold, brave and stay focused on what is important – YOU!
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
Miss Rose 🌹